Enduring Everything (Marked Heart #1) Read online

  Enduring Everything

  A Marked Heart Novel

  M. Sembera

  Enduring Everything

  Copyright 2014 © M. Sembera

  Kindle Edition

  Edited by Margaret Civella

  Cover Design Copyright 2014

  Cover Image Monkey Business

  Images/Shutterstock

  Published by

  Broken Bird Media

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in articles and reviews.

  For more information contact:

  [email protected]

  Enduring Everything is a work of fiction. All names, Characters, places and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination.

  Place name and any resemblance to events or actual persons, living or dead, are entirely coincidental.

  The Wren and Celtic Heart featured is an original piece of art created specifically for M. Sembera by Sarah Beth Bickham. All Rights reserved by Broken Bird Media.

  www.facbook.com/sarahbethsart

  “One day, I’m gonna kiss you back. I’m gonna put a ring on your finger. I’m gonna kiss you every morning and make love to you every night and spend the rest of our lives as desperately in love with you as I am right now” ~ Jacks

  ~Phillip, you and I are my favorite love story~

  Table of Contents

  1 Sophia's Wedding Day

  2 Keeping A Promise

  3 A Proper Proposal

  4 No Time to Adjust

  5 Monday Morning Announcements

  6 Dinner with The Roberts'

  7 My Wedding Day

  8 Honeymoon Surprises

  9 Unpleasant Surprises

  10 Minor Details

  11 A Major Detail

  12 The Conversation

  13 A Situation

  14 Reaching Out

  15 Acting Out

  16 In an Instant

  17 Recognizing the Similarity

  18 An Agreement

  19 Speculations

  20 Purpose in Routine

  21 Family

  22 Everyone Has a Past

  23 Letting Go

  24 Reclaiming the Pieces

  25 Utterly Betrayed

  26 Not what it was Supposed to Be

  27 Overdue Appreciation

  28 Ultimate Heartache

  29 Breaking Point

  30 A Little Gossip

  31 Misplaced Blame

  32 Best Laid Plans

  33 A Fresh Start

  34 Caring for People

  35 One Song

  36 Heading Home

  Acknowledgments

  Playlist

  About the Author

  Work in Progress

  Time doesn't always heal old wounds. Often time makes them worse. Especially when you push those wounds to the back of your mind and focus on the life you want to lead. Then the day comes when you finally have everything. It is then, you realize that nothing ever goes away.

  1

  Sophia's Wedding Day

  Standing in front of my open jewelry box, I sighed. I had intended to give Sophia pieces here and there but as it turned out she never liked wearing jewelry, except for the tiny diamond earrings her dad gave to her for her sixteenth birthday. I only wore the studded emerald earrings Mrs. Thomas gave me and my grandmother’s bracelet.

  Hearing Sophia flop down on my bed, I turned and said, “Oh, quit pouting. Your dad will be happy to see you wearing them.”

  With a heavy sigh, she fussed, “Ugh, I hate wearing jewelry it feels like things are crawling on me.”

  Making a face at her, I assured, “You are a strange girl.”

  With a little giggle she hopped off of my bed and stood next to me, “Okay mama, whatcha got?”

  Pulling out the diamond necklace and earrings Hert gave me when we got married, I replied, “These.”

  “Oh my gosh, they’re huge!” she blurted, practically yanking the earrings out of my hand.

  “Do you want the ring that goes with it?” I asked, pulling my engagement ring out.

  Nodding, she reached into my jewelry box, asking, “What’s this?”

  Before I could stop her, she grabbed the little white box that I thought was hidden.

  Stopping for a moment, I stared at her, shocked that she had it in her hands. The necklace Jackson gave me. It was a long beaded chain with a pendant that had a wren perched on top of a Celtic heart. I used to take it out and look at it every night but it had been years since I had even touched the box.

  Shaking it, Sophia asked, “What’s in here? Is it a secret?”

  Rolling my eyes, I snapped, “Oh my goodness Sophia, don’t be so dramatic. It’s just an old necklace.”

  “Can I open it?” she asked, arching her eyebrow and giving me a mischievous grin.

  Rolling my eyes at her again, I shrugged her off pretending it was no big deal. Smiling wide, she sat back down on my bed, appearing incredibly pleased with herself. When Sophia opened it, she looked confused.

  Looking up at me, she said, “I’ve seen this before.”

  “Where?” I blurted before she clarified, “The heart.”

  Blushing a little, she explained, “Ailin has one, a tattoo. His brothers took him to get it after we got engaged.”

  Pursing my lips at her, I said, “They still do that?”

  The men in Jackson's family, on his mother's side, tattooed a Celtic heart on the left side of their chest when they became engaged.

  Smiling, she shared, “Sarah said they’re all a little different, Ailin’s has my name in his.”

  Thinking I should just change the subject, I assured, “Okay, I really don’t want to think about him having his shirt off with you.”

  Carefully inspecting my necklace, she mumbled, “I told you we are waiting.”

  Holding my hand out, I said, “Okay now, give it back, we have a lot to do.”

  Placing it back in the box, she started to hand it over then jumped to her feet.

  With a loud gasp, she shouted, “You’re the bird!”

  Trying to pretend she was just being crazy, I said, “What? Don’t be silly.”

  Pulling the box away from me, she said, “Penny is gonna just die! It’s a Wren! You’re Uncle Jacks’ Ren! I can’t believe we never figured that out.”

  “Where did you hear that?” I snapped, snatching the box from her and setting it back in my jewelry box.

  “Penny and I spent like, years trying to figure out who Uncle Jacks’ tattoo was for. We never saw it and Oran used to just call it his bird, but we knew he had one,” she informed before saying, “Uncle Jacks never got married and neither did you.”

  “I was married to your dad,” I reminded.

  Frustrated that I wouldn’t acknowledge what was already very clear, Sophia pursued, “Mama.”

  With a heavy sigh, I shared, “Okay but it’s not what you’re thinking. We were never engaged and we only dated for a few weeks in high school. He is your godfather Sophia. The Thomas' are the closest thing to family we have. It’s not only about love, it's also about loyalty and friendship.”

  Appearing disappointed, she revealed, “When I was little, I used to wish Uncle Jacks was my dad.”

  Sitting down next to her, I placed my arm around her shoulders, saying, “Your dad loves you.”

  Resting her head on my shoulder, she said, “I know. It’s just that…” Stopping her, before I started to cry, I said, “Keep in mind, if that was the case you would be marrying your cousin, and that would be really gross.”

  Sophia la
ughed and hugged me before darting off to her room.

  ~

  I finally got Sophia in the wedding dress that Mrs. Thomas made for her. Not that there was a problem with it, for some reason Sophia liked to wait until the last minute to do everything. It was antique white satin, strapless and flowed down from the waist to the floor. Mrs. Thomas was sweet and told everyone that we made it however, aside from the one time I handed her some thread, I mostly sat and watched. Once Sophia was ready, I went to my room to get dressed. Standing in front of the mirror looking at my dress, I thought it was funny that I wore the same light pink color the day I married Hert. Feeling even though I was much older now, I looked better than I did that day because I wasn't six months pregnant. Walking into the kitchen, I found Sophia leaning over the counter eating a piece of pear cake.

  Horrified, I fussed, “What are you doing?”

  With a mouth full of cake, she said, “I’m hungry.”

  Shaking my head at her, I sighed, saying, “Please don’t get anything on your dress. And put your shoes on, we need to go. You’re going to be late for your own wedding.”

  Nodding at me, Sophia finished stuffing her face just as the driver arrived.

  Hert insisted on using drivers for his daughter’s wedding. It was by far more elegant but I still wasn’t happy about it. Jackson’s cousin Brennen had quite a bit of property so we were having an outdoor wedding. It wasn’t easy but Ailin's mom Sarah did agree to leave The Bar open long enough for us to hold the reception there.

  Ailin's dad Gus owned The Bar. He passed away suddenly about six months ago and none of the kids were taking it over. Both Gus and The Bar held a special place in all our hearts.

  As we sat in the car on our way to the wedding, I watched Sophia sitting across from me, looking like she didn’t have a care in the world.

  “Are you nervous?” I asked, remembering how I felt on my wedding day.

  Giving me a strange look, she asked, “Why would I be?”

  Shrugging, I answered, “Oh, I don’t know because you’re getting married.”

  Looking at me, like I was silly, she assured, “He’s my heart, mama.”

  Nodding at her, I smiled.

  We arrived in just enough time for me to be seated next to Jackson's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Thomas, in the front row. Trying not to cry, I avoided looking back at Hert and Sophia waiting to make their way down the aisle. Glancing at Ailin, anxiously awaiting Sophia, there was still a hint of freckles across his nose, most of them had faded as he grew up but his dark auburn hair and green eyes had stayed just the same. Jackson escorted Penny, Sophia's best friend and Ailin's sister, down the aisle. Ailin’s brothers, Auggie, Braden and William, followed arm in arm with Sophia’s other bridesmaids. When I glanced at Jackson, patting Ailin on the back, he smiled wide and winked at me. Jackson had not changed much through the years in either attitude or looks. He had the same stocky build, same blonde hair and his smile radiated cheerfulness. Smiling back, I thought, 'How, after all these years, does that smile make me just as happy as the first time he flashed it at me'.

  Sophia was a vision coming down the aisle with her soft brown curls covering her shoulders. Her brown eyes shimmered bright as she made her way to her soon to be husband. Once Hert gave her away, he sat next to me. When Sophia and Ailin smiled at each other, I was done for. In fact, I didn’t stop crying until after they were married and everyone was congratulating them. The only thing that didn’t make me feel like I was being a complete and total baby was that Mrs. Thomas and Sarah were bawling too.

  Sophia and Ailin were not attending the reception at The Bar. Giving the excuse of getting on the road before dark, their honeymoon would consist of staying in various hotels as they took a road trip cross country. I was sure that wasn’t the real reason but I understood and it made me feel like they had waited just like Sophia claimed.

  Hert and I were the last to tell them goodbye and wish them well. We stood silent next to each other watching them drive away.

  With a heavy sigh I looked up at Hert, saying, “Well that’s it. She’s officially grown and married.”

  Looking down at me, he asked, “Would you like to ride with me to the airport?”

  “Umm, I’m going to the reception.”

  Nodding, he replied, “I thought we could talk. I won’t be coming down next year, now that Sophia’s married.”

  Realizing it could be years before I ever saw him again, I decided to ride with him.

  Heading to the airport, Hert said, “You did a good job with her.”

  Giving him a light smile, I said, “Thank you for being her father.”

  It was strange being in such a small space with him. When he looked at me, his blue eyes held the same intensity as they always had. The scars on his face from his car accident had faded and were barely noticeable. His hair was still black but strands of silver were starting to take over. Over the years, I had avoided all opportunities to spend one on one time with him. Although I had known him my entire life, that one year of marriage to him, not only changed all of our lives but showed me I was on the wrong path.

  We remained silent until he asked, “So, you’re Jackson’s secretary now?”

  “Yep, Mr. Thomas retired last month and I don't wear pajamas to work if that's what you are asking," I said in response to his disapproving look.

  With a slight laugh, he asked, “Would you like to come back with me?”

  Confused, I asked, “Come back where?”

  Looking directly into my eyes, he shared, “You are still so beautiful, Sophia is grown, I want you. I want you to come to Spain with me.”

  Shaking my head, I was stunned.

  “Hert, I can’t just leave,” I replied.

  Slyly smiling, he said, “Yes you can. We can pick up where we left off.”

  Scowling at him, I questioned, “Do you even remember where we left off?”

  Frustrated, he snapped, “I remember what it was like when we were together.”

  I remembered what it was like too.

  “I’m sorry Hert, I just can’t. Everything that makes my life good is here,” I assured.

  Nodding, he didn’t say another word to me except goodbye.

  ~

  The driver took me to The Bar. Feeling melancholy the whole way, I actually did consider Hert’s offer. No matter how much time had passed, I was still hurt over the way he deceived me for the sake of MR Industries. He also agreed to be Sophia's father and I had fallen in love with him. Much like our plan for him to be her father, Hert's proposal and declaration of love was just for show. There were times I missed him and times I still felt angry over his deception but like his mother, Ms. Herterand, told me, ‘Some people aren’t meant for each other’. Shaking off my emotions, I stepped out of the car and headed into The Bar.

  The second I walked in, I saw Jackson waving his hand in the air. When I threw mine up, to ask what he wanted, all he did was smile. Shaking my head, I rolled my eyes, walking over to Emerson. Standing there with a pleasant smile on his face, his soft brown eyes held no resentment or regret from his past, only kindness.

  Bumping him a little, I said, “Hey there.”

  Smiling, he hugged me before saying, “Hey Ren, where were you?”

  “Oh, I rode with Hert to the airport.”

  With a soft smile, he asked, “Are you alright?”

  “Yes Em, I'm fine,” I laughed before asking, “Where’s Amila?”

  “Trying to round up play dates for the kids, we have twelve now,” he laughed.

  Laughing back, I questioned, “Play dates or kids?”

  Shaking his head at me, Em said, “I think we will stick with seven.”

  “Did I ever tell you how proud I am of you?” I asked.

  Emerson was once my best friend. He came into my life when I was sixteen and in desperate need of care and compassion. Through the years Em had come into his own. He started a foundation for abandoned and unwanted children when adoption was the onl
y way that he and his wife could become parents. Thriving in their positions, Em being a wealthy philanthropist, Amila a wife and mother, the Roberts name had granted them high social standing. Even so, they were two people I could always count on, although now, I was closer to Amila.

  Placing his arm around my shoulders, he shared, “You know, we added a new section to the foundation.”

  Nodding, I really wished he hadn’t brought that up.

  Giving a compassionate smile, he imparted, “Amila thinks it would be good if you were a speaker there or maybe come to the house and talk to Charlotte. We love her, but she is so lost, Ren.”

  “I know, she already asked,” I said, trying to get the title of Abused and Mistreated Children out of my mind.

  With a sweet smile, Emerson shared, “It is good for kids to hear that life will not always be that way, that they can be happy,” before adding, “And I think it might be good for you too.”

  “I told her I would think about it, Em,” I replied with a ‘drop it now’ tone.

  When he hugged me again, it felt protective.

  The new division of the foundation was prompted by the newest edition to their household, Charlotte. I really thought they were kind of crazy for adopting a fifteen year old but Amila said the moment Emerson saw her he couldn't leave her there. I knew they were trying to help. It wasn’t the first time. Em and Amila were concerned with what was going to happen when Sophia moved out. There was a tremendous amount of research that went into that specific area of the foundation. As far as they were concerned, I had compartmentalized my whole life to cope with my childhood. It’s possible they were right, but today I didn’t want to think about it.

  ~

  As it got later and later, everyone that attended the reception left a beer on the bar ‘for Gus’ before they headed out, until Jackson and I were the only ones left in The Bar.

  Staring at the bar that was lined with bottles, I said, “I’m glad Sarah let us close The Bar down for the last time.”

  “I miss Gus,” he shared.

  Teary eyed, I nodded, saying, “Yea me too.”

  Nudging me a little, he asked, “Hey, where did you go after the wedding?”