The Rennillia Series: Volumes 1-5

  The Rennillia Series

  Volumes 1-5

  M. Sembera

  The Rennillia Series

  Volumes 1-5

  Copyright© M. Sembera

  Kindle Edition

  Edited by Margaret Civella

  Published by

  Broken Bird Media

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in articles and reviews.

  For more information contact M.Sembera@brokenbirdmedia.com

  The Rennillia Series is a work of fiction. All names, Characters, places and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination.

  Place name and any resemblance to events or actual persons, living or dead, are entirely coincidental.

  This book is dedicated to

  The Rennillia Series FANS

  Rennillia

  Ren (Rennillia) makes bad decisions, she always has. After the death of her parents, she tried to lose herself in an unhealthy relationship.

  In a moment of clarity, she leaves HIM. Still lost and without a home, she agrees to stay with her long time friend Emerson. Emerson's love and compassion for her helps her through this difficult time. Rekindling a forgotten friendship with an old boyfriend, Jackson, she realizes how badly she hurt the people who cared about her the most.

  Ren's mind is set on her new path, until Hert, her oldest friend, steps back into her life. Caught up in feelings she never thought possible, she struggles between what she remembers and what is right in front of her now.

  A Tangled Web

  Adjusting to her new life, Ren is bombarded by one issue after another. Upon their return from the hospital, Ren feels that something is not quite right. No matter how much they try to convince her otherwise, the secrets keep piling up and there are not enough answers to satisfy her curiosity.

  Her relationship with Emerson starts to suffer and when she comes close to actually losing Jackson, she starts to question even more. On top of everything else, Hert and The Office seem to be at center of it all.

  A Turning Point

  Ren begrudgingly takes on the role of 'the right wife' trying to live up to everything she feels is expected of her. Focusing on the only relationship that should matter, when Emerson crosses a line in their friendship, she has no choice but to let him go.

  Confused by Emerson's actions and desperately trying to keep up appearances, she confides in Jackson. Less than sympathetic, Jackson doesn't agree with her decision to be a 'new and improved' Rennillia.

  Soon she realizes, no matter how hard she tries to live up to everyone's expectations for her, she falls short. And when yet another tragedy occurs, things will never be the same. Caught between who she is and who she is supposed to be, Ren faces a harsh heartbreaking reality.

  A Simple Truth

  Struggling with doubt, Ren finds it hard to forgive. Conflicted and hurt, she searches for a way to get her life back on track. Everything is thrown further out of hand when Hert is called away on business and Jackson comes to the house to keep an eye on her.

  As Ren's relationship with Hert faces another complication, her friendship with Jackson strengthens. After coming face to face with the person responsible for her parent's death, she takes it upon herself to look for Emerson. When she finds him a life changing secret is revealed and Ren finds herself questioning the decisions she has made.

  The Last One

  Determined to take control of her own life, Ren makes a decision that she believes will benefit not only herself but those she cares about the most. Uncovering one secret after another, she discovers things far more serious than she could have imagined.

  With Hert fighting her every step of the way refusing to trust her, Emerson just as afraid as she is and doing her best to keep Jackson from being involved; she is forced to step outside of her comfort zone.

  Relying on those she is unsure if she can trust, Ren makes a stand that could very well cost her, her life in this conclusion to The Rennillia Series.

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Enduring Everything

  Rennillia

  Walking away not knowing what was more overwhelming the pain in my chest or the sudden absence of reason. I struggled not to turn around. How had this happened? How could this be? I scanned through memories drawing blanks on the answers that should be there. My feet seemed to move by themselves. Shuffling down the path I knew all too well. I wondered for a moment, would he come after me? I glanced back to look at the house one last time, sending a shot of pain through my heart and tears to my eyes. I swung open the door to my car. It shook as I flopped down into the seat. I tried wiping the tears away. It was a lost cause. Shaking, taking deep breaths, I forced the key into the ignition.

  Forty minutes later, I was pulling into The Better Valley Inn. I paid for my room and staggered down the long hallway. Past tired and feeling dizzy, it became harder and harder to keep my eyes open. I slid my room key into the door. Open, shut, and I was on the bed. The day swirled around in my head until finally, it all went dark.

  Chapter 1

  I woke with the sun shining through the thin beige curtains hanging on the tiny motel window. There was a knock followed by a familiar voice on the other side of the door.

  “Deep breaths,” I whispered to myself as I opened the door.

  "Tell me something good!" he said, grinning at me the way he always had.

  I rolled my eyes, threw myself back onto the bed and covered my head with a pillow. His grin quickly faded to a thoughtful gaze as he sat down on the corner of the motel bed.

  “I brought coffee for you sweetie," he shared as I slid my head out from under the pillow.

  Sitting up, I mumbled, "Thanks Em."

  Emerson had been my friend for what seemed like forever. We met when I was fifteen and he was without a doubt the sweetest guy in the entire world. I couldn't help forcing a little smile as I took my cup from him.

  "Do you want to tell me what happened yesterday?" he questioned, still looking sympathetic.

  "No!" I blurted sharply as I crossed my legs and sipped my coffee.

  He looked down at me with his soft brown eyes. Eyes that you would swear could see down into your soul.

  "You need to tell me Ren," he pressed.

  My eyes filled with tears. Em wrapped his arms around me as I began to sob beyond control.

  He held me, resting his cheek on my head before saying, "Come on honey, you can't stay here."

  Most everyone called him Roberts but I had always called him Emerson. He was very handsome. So handsome, you would expect him to be a little dumb. Tall and muscular with brown hair and big thoughtful brown eyes, Emerson was a guy that made your heart melt when you saw him. The guy you instantly loved just because. He had been there since the beginning. Since that first day I met HIM.

  "You can't stay here," he repeated, pulling me off the bed and onto my feet.

  “I’ll help you get your things," he grinned.

  "I don't have anything just my bag," I replied, reaching for the small duffle at my feet.

  “I got it,” he insisted.

  In the ten years I’d known Emerson, I couldn't think of one time I opened a door for myself or carried something in his presence, all part of the ‘Roberts Charm’. I never understood why he couldn’t keep a girlfriend. Maybe he was too nice. Girls were more in love with the idea of Emerson Roberts than the man himself.

  We didn't talk at all on the way to his house. Ridiculous in size, it was the biggest in the county. Emerson came from a wealthy family. He never worked. He had people who cooked and cleaned
and did just about everything else for him. It wasn't that he was lazy, he just did not see the point in working for things he already had.

  Finally inside the house, he said, “Pick a room!” with a laugh.

  I had stayed over many times. His parents moved to Spain our junior year of High School and set up a permanent residence there. Emerson never liked being alone, and I liked being with him.

  Making my way up the marble stairs, I heard Em holler, "Shower! You will feel better!"

  "Oh sure," I mumbled before taking his advice.

  My shower did nothing in the way of better feelings. It did, however, make me sleepy again.

  Startled, when I opened the bathroom door, I griped, “What the heck Em?" and he was there.

  “What do you want to do?” he smirked.

  “I am going to sleep!" I snapped.

  Scowling at my disobedience, he fussed, “I’m not going to let you do this to yourself."

  Irritated, I yelled, “Look, just give me a day! Okay? Is that really too much to ask?! My whole world fell apart! Yesterday!”

  “Okay Ren, do you want to stay in my room?” he asked, trying to understand.

  Emerson always tried so hard to be understanding about everything.

  “Well?” he pressed.

  I nodded.

  Em questioned, “Do you want to be alone?”

  I shrugged, feeling a little sting at the word alone.

  His room was no different than I remembered it. Trophy covered shelves, black and gray striped sheets. I pulled the comforter back and felt instant relief as I slid into bed. My pillow was so soft, softer than I remembered it being. Emerson sat down slowly on the bed next to me.

  “I’ll stay here with you...If you want me....want me too..." he offered.

  "Yea," was all I could get out as he lightly brushed my still damp hair from my face.

  I barely felt the bed move when he got up and moved to his side of the bed.

  Many times I had stayed with Emerson. Nights spent laughing and planning our futures. His future never changed, only the girls he would marry. Mine changed all the time. Married life never sounded good to me. It was, however, all Emerson ever wanted. I think it was because it was the only thing he didn't already have. Emerson made his way over to me. He wrapped both arms around me, pulling me close to him. It felt nice. It was, after all, our sleep-over routine. It had never gone farther than sleep.

  "Thank you," I whispered.

  Emerson tightened his grip on me a little and said, "Anytime Ren.”

  After adjusting myself a little closer, I drifted off.

  It was dark and quiet when I woke at four thirty five in the morning. Feeling an instant triumph, I had made it almost two days away from HIM. My heart suddenly hurt at that thought.

  Pondering the possibility of sleeping HIM away, I was startled to hear Emerson inform, “Jackson is coming over today."

  "Uh," I whined.

  Sleeping another day away was clearly not an option now.

  “Does he know?" I asked, hoping for a different answer than the one I was sure to get.

  "Yes," he stated.

  Who was I kidding? He knew! It’s a small town everybody always knew everything here! I propped myself up on my elbow, resting my head on my hand, looking over at Emerson.

  "So?" I questioned.

  “He wants to talk to you," he said before assuring, “He just wants to know if you’re okay."

  I glared at him, asking, "Can't you tell him how I am?"

  “Are you going to be okay?" his voice seemed a bit panicked.

  "Why?" I raised my voice.

  “He just wants to talk," he choked out.

  The thought of facing Jackson after all this time upset me. I would have to admit I was defeated. Jackson was an old boyfriend whom I remained friends with after our short 'together' status parted on good terms. That was until my total devotion to HIM pushed me to lose touch.

  “Why?” I repeated as my voice rose a little more.

  Feeling a little bad about yelling at him, I forced myself to smile.

  Sitting straight up, he proclaimed, “It will be like old times!" with a big grin before he continued, saying, “You know when we used to have fun."

  Pulling the covers back over my head, I said, "Yay," muffling my sarcastic response.

  I didn’t have to see his face.

  The disappointment in his voice was clear as he scolded, “You’re not sleeping all day."

  “I know," I pouted before pleading, “Can I at least sleep until daylight?”

  “Sure Ren," his voice was soft again.

  I couldn't get back to sleep so I laid there thinking. My stomach turned. The thought of Jackson's smiling face. He would be so smug with an ‘I told you so’ attitude. I could almost hear the words ringing in my ears.

  Suddenly, I felt sick. I sat up and pulled my knees into my chest, taking slow deep breaths. In a matter of seconds the sick feeling turned to anger. Not the mild irritation brought on by my thoughts of how Jackson would almost delight in my downfall. My face grew warmer as I succumbed to angers hold. The bed was shaking.

  There was a quick jerk before I heard Emerson shout, “REN!” as he flung his arms around me, holding me tight.

  Confused by the situation and hearing the fear in his voice, I blurted, "What the hell?”

  “I thought you were having a seizure or something!” he shouted, still fearful.

  Once again, the tears came.

  "Don’t cry," he pleaded before sharing, "You just scared me…You were shaking and...and I....you…"

  I could tell he was trying to be calm.

  “You. Just. Scared. Me.” his voice and eyes were softer now, less frantic and more sorrowful.

  I felt sick again. It was unfair of me to be here doing this to him, agreeing to come here, all unraveled and broken. Truly, I was on the edge of a breakdown. It was wrong of me to stay, to be here, but I was not going to right my wrong. I was going to stay. Staying, while almost cruel to Emerson, was exactly what I would do. I wondered for a moment, how easy it would be to stay here forever. No reality to set in, only Em’s protective arms to keep me in this unrealistic bubble. I felt his grip on me tighten again as if he knew what I was thinking.

  “Rennillia,” he started, as I cringed at his use of my whole first name, he assured, “It will be okay. We will make it okay.”

  Not knowing if I would make it, I grabbed my pillow off the bed and ran to the bathroom. The cool floor tiles did wonders for my now churning stomach. I curled the top half of my body onto the pillow, stretching my lower half so my legs could lie against the wonderfully cool floor. I allowed the painful thoughts of HIM to surface. Letting memories take hold and consume me, until I heard a light tap on the door.

  “Ren, honey, can I come in?” asked the sweet voice.

  I didn’t answer.

  I heard the voice again, saying, “Ren I’m coming in.”

  Curling into a ball, I pushed every bit of the pillow around my head.

  “Awe Ren,” he whispered.

  Emerson’s words hovered around me as he gently picked me up off the floor. I felt like an addict withdrawing from some impossibly strong narcotic and HE had been my drug. Withdrawal is painful.

  “It’s killing me to see you like this,” he whispered in my ear.

  Really? He was the one hurting? I wanted to scream, ‘How dare you!’ How could he compare the end of my world to caring for a friend? I was the one in agony! Barely alive….And this was killing him? If I could, I would have hated him for just hinting that he knew what hurt was.

  Furious, I turned toward him, not realizing how close his face was to mine. Staring into those soft brown eyes, nose to nose with him, I saw his eyes filling with his own painful tears. How could I be this selfish? How could I hurt him like this after all of our years of devoted friendship? Instantly, I was sorry for being the person I had become. Hurting him hurt me and I knew at that moment no matter how much I did
not want to face it, I was no better than all the others; his parents who abandoned him, the countless girls that got bored and left him and now me. Horrific, that’s what I was. So many old promises broken, we would always be there for each other and after everything I had done, he was keeping his promise. Where was mine? How could I keep my promise? I could not be anything for him. Even so, I wanted to kiss him. It had never been a thought of mine before this very moment but I wanted to. Maybe if I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him, really kissed him, I could make it better, better for the both of us. Take his hurt away. Make us feel better…needed…loved.

  “I’m sorry,” was all I could say as I tucked my head under his chin.

  Emerson didn’t say anything. I thought about what it would be like to kiss him. Would he kiss me back? Would it really be better for the both of us? Or would it be another bad decision on my part? I tried to reposition myself so that we would be face to face again. Hoping he would decide for me but he just held me tighter. I gave up, knowing it was for the best and knowing it wasn’t what either of us needed.

  Chapter 2

  Finally, the sun came up. Emerson, having fulfilled his obligation to help me make it through my episode, got up and started getting dressed.

  “Good morning, you need to get up,” he said with a forced smile as he walked out of the room.

  I laid there for a while, reflecting on the last few hours. As a world of possibilities and complications started to unfold in my thoughts, I heard a much more pressing situation walk through the front door.

  “Where is she?” a cheerful voice asked.

  Emerson’s reply was hushed as he informed, “She’s upstairs. Last night was bad, real bad,” before, as if to warn me he was coming back up, he said, “I’ll go get her,” in a louder than necessary voice.

  Feeling uneasy, I kicked the covers off and sat up in bed. Emerson walked in holding my black duffle and tossing it on the end of the bed.

  “Get dressed. Jackson’s downstairs,” he said quietly.

  “I’m sorry about….well, scaring you last night,” I apologized, barely able to look at him.

  “Jackson’s here,” was all Em said as he walked out of the room.